i ASKED.
and i gt my ans.
BRAVER. (:
my MISSIN PIECE.
im glad i asked.
its been in my hrt for so looooonnnnngggggg.

time.
its all tht its needed nw.
but i asked myself.
wht will it be like if everythin is like back to the past.?
akward.? happy.?
i dont know.
mayb it wont be even back to the past.
mayb it will still be like nw.
HAHAHS.
shuddup HUISHAN.
stop thinkin lahs.
u know ur LIL SIS dont like it rights.?
so STOP THINKIN U THIS SLOWPOKE.!

forgotten hw my childhood use to be like.
granny aint here.
whts new yr gna be.?
i DREAD NEW YEAR.!
tht smile i use to have whnever i see granny.
tht smile granny always give me whn she sees me.
i know she loves me.
everythin came too sudden.
but whts the pt w/ thinkin nw.?
everyone misses her.
but in tht small hrt of mine.
i miss her more thn i miss anyone.
she's more thn a granny to me.

ahhhhhh.
STOP THE THINKIN U FOOL.!
uh huh.

blogged at 12:21 AM

HURRAY.!
im gettin better.
i think its the AIR problem.
mayb im more used to my hse.
RUBBISH.
hahs.
anw.
im gna have to go back to god parents place on tml.
BABY SITTIN.

wnt to SPC today.
shopped and brought my skirt and a sleeveless shirt.
okays.
i settled my new yr clothins alrdy.
(:
its fast.

i felt like eating KFC and CHOCOLATES.
ESTHR.
hw.?

been naughty.

blogged at 6:58 PM

wnt kite flying w/ god parents and tht two kids today.
thrs no wind.
so we wnt off early and EAT.
hahs.
im gna get fatter.
lets see.
i ate CHEESE MEAL on thurs.
its really CHEESE.
i ate jap food for lunch on fri.
thai food for dinner.
i ate thai food agains for lunch on sat.
popiah for dinner.
wonton noodle for lunch just nw.
and TONY ROMMA for dinner.
im gna get sicker.
all those FRIED stuffs.

my flu seems better nw.
at least.
but my nose is BLOCKED.
very blocked.
and tht makes me slightly DEAF.
so speak to me LOUDER abit okays?

here goes the photos.

thts all for here.
others available @ PHOTO ALBUM.

nights.

blogged at 10:52 PM

its gettin worst i think.
BOOOS.
a cough is developing i guess.
nt very sure.
its gettin LATE.
and im gettin SLEEPY.
but at least im slpin on my bed frm tonight.
back at home.
(:

think its the flu tht gt me BLUR.
or i didn't get lynniie name rights.
i missed out an I.
okays.
mayb im SLOW agains.

gettin too weak just seems to be tht GENUINE HUISHAN.
always down w/ sickness.
okays okays.
its my immunity system tht is WRONG.
and im mre PRONE to gettin myself INJURED.

shalln't get outsie to shop or watch movie nxt week.
its TIME i rest myself well.?
yars rights.
w/ myself eating tibits while watchin TV prog.
hahs.
typical auntie alrdy.!
hook up w/ vv drama everyday.
lols.
blame the hols thn.
(:

sign off-
nights.

blogged at 11:41 PM

stay over @ GODPARENTS' place.
woodlands.
hw far.
actually its @ ADMIRALTY lahs.

been stuck w this FLU bug for three DAYS.
eeeeewwwwww.
it makes me feel sick.
and nw my head wna burst.
blahs blahs blahs.
at LEAST.
i dont hear scoldings frm momsie.

momsie didn't give me any money @ all.
so it makes me so POOR.
felt so bad whnever i wna eat and i've to tell GODMA.
yars.
gna get outsie later.
bring KEEFE for his swimmin class.
hw GRT.
tell me wht am i to do durin tht 1 hr.?

i wanted to ask her.
but.
i dont know hw to.
i know its dumb.
but i just wna know.
WE"RE ALL DRIFTIN.

stay away frm me.
FLU BUGS RUNS FREELY.
hahs.

blogged at 3:46 PM

i think im deaf.
sounds are so soft whn i hear thm on my left ear.
its as though a cloth is coverin it.
its making me so pissed.
kids are here.
NOISY.
but nevertheless CUTE.

FUSHENG.
im a GOOD NANNY okays.?

im gettin irritated by my EAR.
wht will happen if this stays forever.
beautiful words u say.
i wont be able to hear thm.

blogged at 6:07 PM

so everythin is MY FAULT.
its merely never washin dishes.
who says i didn't do house chores.
i did.!
i brought in the plates okays.?
and now u blame me for NOT WASHIN THM.
its just three plates and a bowl.
AND U'RE SCRMIN AT ME.

i felt so miserable.
YARS YARS.
NW U'RE SAYIN STUFFS NOT RELATED.
ITS ALL MY FAULT LAHS.
I WANTED TO BE A HAPPY KID TOO.
BUT I CANT.
I WASHED MY FACED W/ TEARS.
DO U EVER LOVE ME.?
WHY IS IT THT BRO ISN'T THE ONE THT WAS SCOLDED.
I DONT LOVE BEEN AT HOME.
I NEVER LOVE TO NW.
THE TEARS FLOW.
HEART'S BREAKIN.
HW AWFUL.
I NEED A HUG.
I SERIOUSLY DO.
EXPLODING SOON.
MY THROAT HURTS.
SILENT CRIES.
NO ONE KNOWS.
KILL ME THN.

NOT SURE WHT TO DO.
ALL I CAN IS CRY.

blogged at 8:38 PM

laze on the bed.
it always seems nice to slp longer in such NICE WEATHER.
i dread waking up.
took my specs.-FINALLY.
wnt beach road.
bro brought his stuffs.

too many stuffs in this TINY body of mine.
i'll burst soon.
but i promised to say.
SOON.

its u tht i see and yearn.

blogged at 6:35 PM

i really wna walk in the rain.
so no one will ever know im cryin.
i thought tht perhaps after today's bball.
i might feel better.
at least.
BUT.
im not.
lying to myself would never work.
cause i clearly know im LYIN.
im gettin very lost w/ my life.
i cant see the direction ahead.
it's gettin too blur.

IM GETTIN TOO LOST W/O MY POKE SQ.

too much LIES to myself.
no one knows.
isolates.

i wna get to the beach.
and i wna it to rain.
so no one will ever know im cryin.


blogged at 10:59 PM

FINALLY.
my hols are here.!
yars yars.
and so.
im gna HIBERNATE myself @ home.
yars rights.
DEC is gna be so CRAZY for me mans.
cls chalet.
bball trainings.

im jus making myself numb.
clar knows wht wnt wrong.
im sry girl for turnin so quiet suddenly.
she says shes used to those accusation.
but im not.
im never used to it.!
whn bro wnt to france to study.
i was tht GEM in ur hands.
nw tht bro am back im tht rubbish in the dustbin.
yars yars.
bro's leaving for ARMY soon.
and soon things will go back to a full circle hurs.?
im so tired lahs.
whn i wnt seperate ways w/ clar.
i so much wanted to cry.
i really wanted.
tears just wna drop.
but im afraid of peepos seeing.
the sky gt dark.
i was glootin.
at least whn it rains.
no one will know tht im crying.
but it didn't.
sour o the inside.
but a fake smile on the outside.
no one understands.
do YOU.?

blogged at 9:15 PM

lessons are gna end on tml.
okays.
seems abit better.
but i guess it just am gna be so BORED to be stuck @ home.
clar's back frm malaysia le bahs.
yipee.!
i so miss tht girl of mine.
lols.

i find it hard to say whts gng on.
perhaps it was the fact tht no one know the real story.
aiyars.
never mind lahs.
stayin at home becomes a misery for me.
i get scolded for nothin.
this mornin.
it was mummy tht insisted daddy to fetch me to sch.
but whn i was slpin-i was wide awake actually.
she says its my fault tht we dont have TODAY paper to read.
hello.
i told u tht it was too early alrdy.
i know u care.
but u turn ur back and claim its my fault.
whts wrong lahs.
its never nice to stay at home.
all i do is slp to avoid arguements.

is this my LIFE.?

blogged at 8:24 PM

BAD DAY lahs.

i thought i was able to do my A MATHS paper today.
ms tan was MIA.
i waited 1 hr.
and i left.
im super sleepy.
and come to think of it.
my head hurts nw.
assholes.

miss the 62 bus.
and i waited DARN LONG.
idiot lahs.
88 was packed w/ these xinmin pri students.
one didn't have her ez link.
and she had to play hide and seek on the bus w/ the driver.
made the bus peepos waited.
ASS LAHS.
NO BRAINS AHS.
BOARD THE BUS MUST PAY MONEY DE LEHS.
U THOUGHT FREE RIDE ARS.?
WASTE MY TIME.
U THIS ASS.

came home.
first thing mummy did was to SCOLD ME.
HELLO.?
ITS NOT AS THOUGH I DIDN'T TELL HER THT I TOOK HER STUFFS.
I DID OKAYS.
I SWEAR I DID.
IM FREAKIN PISSED NW.
JUS WNA GO SCRM EVERYTHIN OUT.
WHTEVER THINGS I DO.
IM ALWAYS IN THE WRONG.
DO SHE EVER APPRECIATE IT.
I FELT LIKE GIVING UP AGAINS.
IM TIRED.
VERY TIRED.
DRAINED.

FULL OF CAPS.
THTS WHT PISSED PEEPOS DO.

blogged at 1:17 PM

im feelin so TIRED.
i need a gd slp.
hahs.
but i need to refer to my maths correction.
im sittin for tht last 1 HR alone tml.
hw lonely.
nvm lahs.
who ask me to be the only one who was absent on FRI for tht test.
blahs.
so im gna be at the SPACE.
@ 11.30 to 12.30 ALONE.

my leg's aching.
and my skin hurts.
it was nice.
but i dont think my ankle adapted well.
hahs.
swimmin is not for me.!
but i love it though.
(:
some pics.
i love thm though.
others available @ my photo album.

i love this pic.^

blogged at 9:27 PM

okays.
i knew the fact.
forced friend to tell me.
but she depicted the truth frm the show she watched.
hw cute can she be.
wnt sch for lesson.
its just so weird to be able to go to sch LATE.
everyone else is attendin lesson.
while we can simply stroll in.
(:
comb class togethr w/ the int peepos.
chem lessons.
plain copying.
zalala knew we aint in the mood for studyin.

chinese.
hw bored.
14 peepos in the cls.
poor mr tan.
some pon.
but the guys were GOOD.
they came for lessons.

wanted to get outsie w/ ber.
but she got locked out.
see.
thts the consequence of forgettin to bring KEYS my dear girl.
msged mich.
slacked.
slp.

it was jus simply nice to talk to cia.
my SWEETY PIE.
(:

blogged at 8:50 PM

woke up tht early jus to attend a function.
dread tht flu.
it was BORED.
very BORED i must say.

i shall start STUDYIN then.
cause im too bored.
wht will do me good if i cont thinkin abt it.
i may be clueless.
but at least im OCCUPIED.
so, start studyin u this SLOW POKE.!

ohhhhhhh.
clar's leavin for malaysia trip tml.
hw bored will it be thn.
i wna go watch movie.
someone pls.?

can someone tell me whn the A level is endin.?
cant wait for it to end.
its time to K.!
(:
cousin exams better end quick.!
sing sang sung.
hahs-

i LOVE cia.
wht a swty pie she is.
a grt girlfrnd to me.
(:

blogged at 6:06 PM

wht a sat to spend in this way.
time's hard to pass.
and im thinkin loads.
the past.
why cant i just simply let it go.
its no pt thinkin.
i thought things would not end up this way.
but it did.
we wnt on seprate ways.
hurt was i.
but.
i thought.
since SHE's happy.
why not be happy for her too.?
i didn't wna know the reasons too.
but recently.
i got too bothered w/ it.
things just seem so weird nw.
its no longer tht beautiful past.
i LOVE them.
tht grt day we had.
the jokes we make on one anothr.
the day we three get home togethr.

but everythin's turnin.
i told GREEDY PARTNER.
tht i wna have a time machine.
she too wna one.
but why.?
perhaps she missed the days she spend w/ joy. min and chye.
im nt gna go to concert alone.
i wna hear some talkins tht day.
i wna know wht he said to them.

i couldn't let go.
and thts for true.

BROKEN PIECES.
will u fix them back for me.?

blogged at 12:02 AM

skipped sch.

woke up in the early morning to find myself not well.
tht dummy gastric of mine.
slpt till 11.
watched tv and had some milk.

everyone's coming home.
(:
mummy called and told me they're at habourfront.
grt.!
no more home alone.
it kinda sucks.
blahs blahs blahs.

saw frm chuanlian blog.
tht ystd ball session was CANCELLED.
hahs.
the PASSION has alrdy DIED lahs.
its some other things tht peepos chase nw.
not SPORTS.
try swimmin then.
mich will definitely say YES.

off to dinner @ godma's hse later.
grt FODD.
fu sheng's DROOLIN.
hahs.

if only YOU know.
the change in someone made me feel horrible.
the past.
tht gd someone.
but nw she's changed.
to someone i couldn't even recognise.
explain to me.
let me know the ans why she mixed w/ me.
friend told me tht she only like to mix w/ famous peepos.
then why did she mixed w/ me in the past.?

tht change in YOU.
got me thinkin.

--------------------------------

wait till ur O's are over.
and i wna u to tell me wht u said to her.
i cant seem to forget the past.

LOST in the PAST.

blogged at 3:05 PM

BORED.

who says home alone was ever grt.
LOATHES IT.
hw much i wanted to go too.
darn the lessons.
the TEST.
i wonder if i'll be able to get to slp tonight.
i'll probably get hooked on the tv set.
till im tired.
feelin sour.
i LIED tht i wasn't cryin.
tears just roll down like they want to.
im totally on my own which i wasn't even used to.
48 hrs w/o daddy mummy and bro.
i dont wna.

WHR"S ESTHER.?

its going to 8.
and i still hadn't had my dinner.
i only had one meal today.
which was delifrance.
ahhh.
shit ass.
i hate being ALONE lahs.

will i be able to wake up on time.?
i need to reach sch on time tml for the test.
i dont wna be late.
too dependent.
its TOO LATE.
DUMBSIE.

------------------------------------------

i hugged the bear tight.
refusing to let go.
its too quiet.
i need you.
im afraid.
its RAININ.
too cold to be arnd.
whr's u.
sing me a song.
put me to bed.
i need ur warmth.


I LIED tht i wasn't CRYIN.
ass.

blogged at 7:35 PM

i MISS the old car.
very used to it.
cant bear to see it go.
felt sour whn the man drove it away.
BLAHS.
new car.
strange but nvm lahs.
i cant be bothered w/ cars.
they're total strangers to me anw.

cancelled off netball.
yars yars.
everyone said see first.
and so whts the pt w/ playin then.?
might as well cancel it.
PASSION.
i guess it died down hurs.
i think lets just NOT PLAY anymore shall we.?
UNSPOKEN FEELIN.
grrrrrr.

maria goh walked out of the cls AGAINS.
HELLOS.?
its seems like DILIGENCE is gettin her PISSED off.
i didn't wna her to walk out on us.
i rather she throw peepos out.
and so we could STUDY.
its the O's nxt yr.
anyone CONCERNS.?
wht a day.

blowing cold and warm.
i said i wasn't going to think of u.
and tht i wont miss u.
i tried so.
but can i really do it.?
QNS.
the song's makin me cry.
but i told myself nt to cry anymre.

LISTENIN - gu dan de ye li wo bu gu dan.

blogged at 6:18 PM

T I R E D ;

photos uploaded.
im very tired.
im not the one swimmin but why am i tired.?
strange.
EL home wrk's half way done.
i dont understand wht its tryin to say.
too CHIM.

back to sch was still alrights.
cant believe tht im alrdy SEC FOUR.
maria goh's startin LESSON on human geog.
hw fast.!
HOLS HOLS HOLS.
hw bored can it be.?

will u yearn to see the guy u like the most droppin @ ur place whn u're very sick.?
and in his hands porridge so tht u could eat ur med.?
ANS ME.!
alot says YES.
i wish for tht too.
but who.?

FUSHENG says he's gna entertain me whn mummy and all goes on cruise.
but doesnt he needs to study.?


too much of a drm.
in ur arms i slp.
i dont wna this to end.
if only its all real in the first place.
STUDY HARD.
darn the O's.

blogged at 11:33 PM

my head's HEAVY.
can someone put me to bed.?
it all so assy.
the flu the cough.

everyone's leavin for cruise on wed.
home alone.
i pray tht im well.
i dont wna be sick and get HOME ALONE.

i guess i need u.

blogged at 9:24 PM

M I S S.

hug me tight.
im feelin cold.
i jus wna slp.
sneeze like no one cared.
hw can i get SICK durin the hols.?

let the time get back to the swt DAY.

blogged at 11:46 PM

no one could explain tht to me.
u dont listen to me.
DO YOU.?
do u ever dare to say.
yes.?!

its all a lie if u say so.
i HATE YOU.
are u really being nice to me.?
or was it jus a fake up.?
nag and nag all day long is wht u do.
u dont bother bout me.
i wanted to RUN AWAY agains.

whn i ran away tht first time.
u cried and called me home.
but i guess its all a LIE.
u reprimand me.
sayin im tht BAD GIRL.
i was nv ur child.
was i.?

I HATE YOU MUMMY.!

the feelin of unwanted.
wht's wrong w/ switchin on the comp everyday.?
whts wrong.!!!!!!!
nw u're slammin things.
go ahead and do tht for all u want.!

LEAVE.

i jus wna scrm.
get a LIFE.

PISSED.
im NV UR CHILD.

ASSIFIED.

blogged at 3:11 PM

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

blogged at 8:09 PM

You Are a Good Girl

You are 80% Good and 20% Bad Generally speaking, you're a very good girl. (But you don't have us totally fooled!)

blogged at 8:06 PM

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

blogged at 8:03 PM

You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

blogged at 7:42 PM

L O V E.

loving someone doesn't means u have to be together.
as long as the other party am happy.
thts all it matters.

wnt to 4th aunt's place for dinner.
cool place.
and it looks like those in drama shows.
its SO ALIKE.

wnt this fashion @ daddy's wrk place.
i saw my SKIRTS.!
bringin esthr thr tml.

LIL SIS;

i'll be thr for u.
no matter whr and whn.
i PROMISE.
i told u i wna be ur SUPERGLUE.
to be thr whnever u need someone.
u said whn the wrld ends.
we're gna die togethr.
and whn u think of dyin.
im gna die w/ u.
thr's nothin in this earth thts not solvable.
even though cryin may nt solve anythin.
but it will makes u feel better.
whn u cry.
u get tired.
and u'll have a grt slp after tht.
NO MATTER WHT.
i'll ALWAYS thr.

(:

blogged at 10:41 PM

About Me


ngHUISHAN
26 JUNE '90
sweet SEVENTEEN
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