ystd wasn't nice.
never was it.
fears. troubles. pressure.
everything'sjust going in circle.
momsie's nagging.
studies' worries.
teachers' pressure.
i cired hard last night.
and i even thought of silly stuffs.
its stupid.
but just put yourself in my shoes.
be me for a day.
and u'll understand whatever shit im going through.
u'll wna quit after FIVE hours.
my mom is darn particular about the household cleanliness.
and so she often screams at me.
like the hair i drop when i comb in the toilet.
the hair i drop in my room.
the way my bed sheet is.
and and.
I"VE TO CLEAN THE TOILET AFTER I FINISH BATHING.
i know it sounds ridiculous.
but yes.
I HAVE TO CLEAN THE BATH AREA AFTER I BATHE.
momsie's afraid that the wall will have those black black stuffs.
not the wall.
but the cement slub in between every tiles.
yars.
so i HAVE to clean the toilet after i bathe.
and if i dont.
i'll get nag and scream at.
but its never your average screamin or naggin.
my momsie's naggin will make u drop tear instantly.
my cousins dont like momsie.
i failed EL for the first time.
its JOURNAL somemore.!
okays.
mdm woo's making me very worried about EL.
its the FIRST TIME i worry about my EL.
let me quote an example.
we were going through the corrections for the diagnostic test.
the mdm woo went very fast.
her speed was somehow like Japan's bullet train.
and out of a sudden she ask if she's too fast.
of course.
always a slow one.
i shouted "YES".
but she continue while leaving me hanging there.
not understanding a single word she said.
lessons in sch are very rush.
yes.
i felt like im hanging out of no where.
the pressure is making me drain.
chem is gettin worst.
tan bee tin rushes through the chapts.
but i still dont understand last year's stuff.
where's mrs jessie chew.?
time's running out.
everyone's telling me to relax.
but i'm not even confident enough.
im hanging and about to drop into the extremely danger zone.
i need assurance.
-------------------
i dont feel confident of myself.i lose faith in myself.the perseverance spirit i had in my pri sch days were gone.im just a changed person now.i need assurance.i need guidance.i need help.i dont ask u out for nothin.i needed help.u were among those i really can trust on.being hurt too many times makes me lose trust in peepos easily.im still very afraid.
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11:41 PM
