this should have been written on 16 aug.
but i forget so.
so here it goes.
16 Aug 2006 its been a year since granny left.
a year.
a torn and tattered year since she was gone.
family disputes, arguments.
its wearin everyone down.
but others might say, u're just a child!
how affected will u get?!
the answer is obviously A LOT.
granny has been there with me since i was a baby.
holding me close like her precious gem.
we stay next door to each other.
and without fail, she'll drop by.
when i was in kindergardens, she'll bring me to sch.
and fetch me when i'm done.
primary 2.
the first year studying in the mornin stream.
granny came over and woke me up.
see if i'm awake or not.
when her leg hadn't hurt that much, she would go to the market.
buy me anything she thinks look nice on me.
my hairband now was the one she bought for me.
so i could wear it to sch for primary 1.
the tibits at her house was always for me.
without fail, she'll ask me to go over and eat them.
till now, i still rmb how she defended me when mom wacked me.
how she coax me when i'm chased out of the house.
but things changed when we shifted.
a year after we shifted.
granny shifted house too.
visiting her was not that often.
the most was just bringing her out for dimsum.
and we drove her to east coast.
days passed.
1st aunt departed.
i knew granny was sad.
she was even though she was always at loggerhands with 1st aunt.
everyone was her child.
granny's child.
i was with her on the first night,
making sure she was asleep before i went down to the wake.
then came the family dispute.
shalln't elaborate here.
granny loathes that stupid man.
i loathe him too.
last year aug,
granny fell ill.
it was just a flu.
but it never got well.
instead, it went worst.
it was on a sunday noon.
3rd aunt called and say she couldn't wake granny up.
and that granny didn't had any response.
i was scared.
frightened.
but i had to stay home till mom returns from the temple.
granny got admitted to the hospt.
all i knew was just some dehydration.
but this was not the end of her suffering.
grany had a major stroke which paralysed the left of her body.
but still, she knew i was thr to visit her.
she gave me a squeeze when i asked her to ans me.
my heart hurts as much and no one could really understands it.
then came the worst.
the last straw.
another major stroke which paralysed her totally.
she could no longer opened her eyes.
and she was grasping for air.
tubes hung all around her.
15 aug 2005
the doctor called 3rd aunt and told her to prepared for the worst.
as things were not lookin good.
and she might not live it past the night.
i went to the hospt with bro till late in the night.
i had to go home cause there was school the nxt day.
i hated to go home.
i wanted to be there.
standin next to her.
16 aug 2005.
dad drove me to school as usual.
i told everyone, im gng to the hospt right after sch.
i wna be there with granny.
but when sch ended.
my biggest fear arrived.
called dad and he told me granny left in the mornin at 7.30am.
why?!
why hadn't they tell me all along?
why do they keep it from me?
the wake was tiring.
and i hadn't had the mood to study.
worst still, end of yr was coming.
now, its been a year already.
i hadn't really get used to it.
to find granny not at home.
and further family dispute arose.
im affected greatly.
very badly.
i really want her by my side.
to ask me if i'm fine.
to call me meimei.
to ask if i'm copin well with my sch work.
but it's never gna happen.
she's no longer there.
her tears flow and she realise she need his hug badly
blogged at
8:00 PM
