♥ shan's.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

i feel such a loser now.

i've no dates today.
all the people that i asked were not free.
my bro have a date and he's driving out today.
i got woken up at 4.46AM.

the waking up part were by some inconsiderate people.
who were screaming an shouting in the carpark opp my room.
so, my whole family were awoken up by it.
the mumbling screams and a female screeching scream.
we thought something happened and so stood by the window to continue hearing.
then saw the ambulance, then 2 police cars.
the noise stop.
bro and dad went to have a look.
and they came home and said they saw nothing at all.
no injuries.
no bloodshed.
then what the hell were they screaming?
HELLOS, its 4 PLUS AM alrights.

next, i've no date out today.
wilson jio-ed me out for steamboat.
but i couldn't find another girl to go with me.
clar's working. -damned.
so its another cannot make it plan.

which now means, im staying home the full whole day.
and im swearing im not ever gna watch the countdown on tv.
and i swear im goin to switch off my phone before 12AM.

ROARS!
im in a foul mood now.

--- [EDIT @ 17:59] ---
people are getting ready to get out.
while me?
i just finish packing my room.
now its freaking neat.
bro drove away the car.
which means we have to walk to have our dinner now.
this is something i dont like at all.

jolene fractured her elbow from ystd.
i think i started the trend ehs?
i fell down the flats of steps at gram's place.
and fractured my damn elbow at the age of 2.
my male cousin fell when riding a bike and fractured his damn elbow.
at the age of 6.
my godsis jolene fell and fractured her damn elbow last night.
at the age of 4.

now, my nose's runny.
I

changed my bedsheets.
clear the stack of O' level books
wipe the dust off my table and in my room.

NOW

I'm going to sweep my room's floor.
take a wet cloth and mop my room.
bathe after mopping.
then watch tv.
eat.
and sleep.

i hate festivals.

blogged at 2:41 PM

i woke up ystd and saw a surprise.
NEWSPAPER when my dad's not even home.
furthermore its THE NEWPAPER some more.
so my bro and i were like guessing.
who dropped it in.
eventually we came to realise its something from SP.
wow, this is something new ehs?
ADVERTISING THROUGH NEWSPAPERS.

BBQ today wasn't anything nice.
we had not enough food to eat.
i wanted more chicken wings.
but pathetically we dont.
so i thought of goin supper.
cousin went prata house.

came home and saw RP's newsletter.
telling what new programme it has.
NAHS, RP IS TOO FAR!
the nearest from my place is NYP.
but don't have the course im lookin for.
and i'm more interested in TP and NP.

anw, i've no dates on tml again.
awwwwwww,new year's eve countdown and im dateless?
so sad ehs?
i wna cry out loud too!

all worn out.

awww, i love her!

baby with ben. - my cousin who is very busy as always.

isn't she cute?

MY FAV BABY ON EARTH. (:

i cannot cry because the weakness lies in the eyes.

but because of u, i've learn to be strong again.

blogged at 12:04 AM

Friday, December 29, 2006

YEAHS!
blogger's finally working already.
now, people don't have to hear me telling them i'm so angry by blogger.

BBQ's on tml!
yet, i'm not at all excited about it.
i dont know why either.

I WNA GO SHOPPING!

ZARA'S SALE IS ON
MARKS AND SPENCER'S SALE IS ON
I WNA EAT ALMOND BISCUIT FROM M&S

shopping anyone?

i want to go see the fireworks at marina bay on new year's eve!

okays, so here goes the photos which i wna upload.

K BOX

M&Ms PHOTOFRAME FROM LAS VEGAS

CLAR WROTE THIS ON MY TABLE WHEN IM SICK.

CHUNFU CAUGHT ME IN THE ACT OF STUDYING.

OUTSIDE THE CLASS, ITS WINDIER. (:

SAY YOU LOVE ME, BABY. (:

the fantasy of lying in ur arms forever.

blogged at 7:20 PM

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

woke up super early.
and its very annoying cause the weather is so nice to slp in.
went to return the keys.
then took another hour long bus to AMK to meet up cousin.
K BOX LAHS!

sing sang sung till around 6.10.
return home and eat dinner.
im waiting for 9PM.
why?
AH WANG! (:

i'm going out tml.
with momsie and bro.
to watch the movie Charlotte's Web.
but i feel like watchin night at museum instead.

i have the urge to buy more GREEN TEES.
GREEN!
BROWN tees too.
mom spoiled my brown skeleton shirt while washing.
so sad can.

AH WANG!
(:
he's like a kid.
but he knew whats affection and loyalty.

blogged at 8:19 PM

its boxing day already.
and in 10 hour time.
i've to leave home to return some keys.
thn head down to cousin's place.
wake her up and go SING SONG!

amazingly, i asked her out to go K.
beats better than me staying home.
further more, taking an hour bus journey to bugis.
return key le go home.
abit lame lahs.

okays, lets talk about christmas.
i spent the first half of the day online and sleeping.
i woke up at 12.
my mom lahs, pulled me out from bed.

watched house of wax just now.
darn gross.
but okays lahs.

met up with steven to pass him his xmas present.
thn jiu kinda sum up christmas day le.

okays, this entry kinda feels junked up.
BAHHHHHHS.

thoughts straightened.
everyone was hoping for an US.
but there's no US and only a ME.
im walking this route with my shadow accompanying me.

blogged at 12:56 AM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

how do i vent it all?
i dont know how to.
i've said it out already.
but how come it still feels this way.

solution is what i need.
come on shan, u can think of one.
but never should it be tearing.
u're big already.
so u cant cry anymore.

I CANT THINK OF ANY IDEA TO CHEER MYSELF UP.
AND ITS PISSIN ME OFF.

i know!
talk to yt.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

steven, jiu ming!

blogged at 11:39 PM

sales was bad today.
we only sold 1 candle.
pathetic huh.
but whats nice is i found my friend back.
that full of theory guy!
LIM YEOW TING!

it feels nice to actually gave him a msg.
well, we hadn't talk for so long.
and in between so many things happened.
next week!
we're gna meet up and all.
(:

went jap restaurant just now.
i dont know whats wrong.
but nothing appeals to me.
perhaps im just too tired for anything?

i was right.
right from the start when i started wondering.
right from the moment when i told bro.
everything was just like what i said.
neither this nor that.
how come im always so silly?
how come he's able to break down that defensive wall of mine?
how come im this down.

tonight's christmas eve.
im dateless.
not in the sense where no one ask me to go church.
but i decline goin to church.
because i know i'll feel uncomfortable.

tml's christmas.
and im dateless too.
believe it or not.

does it hurts u?
i believe not.
u DONT know the agony in me.

blogged at 9:59 PM

im hyperly tired now.
but shall upload the photos and send people drooling.
HAHAS, the naughty shan's back. (:

met up with godpa ystd for the garden festival at suntec.
conclusion, i dont know how to appreciate landscape.
LOLS!
went tony roma after that.

worked today.
outside NLB at bugis.
not much customers.
and it's plain bored.
tml's the last day already.
working till 5.
then shall head home and stone.

after work today.
went gram's bday dinner.
let the photos speak then. (:

TONY ROMA'S

its dinner time!

suntec's christmas lighting.

WORK @OUTSIDE NLB

meet our store. (:

this looks super nice.

one of our customer's gift.

GRAM'S BDAY DINNER

dad, momsie, me and elephant!

me and carolyn the elephant.

my mom's fav.

START THE COURSE ROLLING!

i dont eat steam prawns.

i dont eat steam fish either.

ALMOND PASTE! (:

COUSINS AND EVERYONE UNITE!

carolyn and jolene.

the granchildren of HERS. -bro, ben, carmen weren't present. dom wnt out.

START THE SONG GOING

its 73 that the candles represent.

the youngest among the family.

BELOVED and going strong.

WE STAND STRONG AS ONE FAMILY. - godpa was busy setting his cam timing.

i learnt to stay strong and be independent.

blogged at 12:36 AM

Friday, December 22, 2006

i tried means and ways to not get contacted.
i shut my phone, appear offline.
but still, benny boy saw through everything.
he saw my agony.
he knew i wasn't fine.
the talk was so great.
i wouldn't know what it would be like if he didn't say anything.

would i drown myself with tears?
or just continue this cheerful facade.
life still has to go on.
i know that.
BENNY BOY ROCKS!

waiting for clar's call now.
get out of here.

my agony, my call.
u never knew.
as i listen to this song.
i told myself i'll be all fine.

"I Belong To Me - Jessica Simpson"

I belong to me...

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you
It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby
It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in, baby
That who I am is not about who I am with, baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you
I do

I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know
I'll give up my love but I'm not giving up my soul

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

Oh yea
Love don't mean changing who you are to be
Who somebody wants you to be
Nobody's got to belong to nobody

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me

I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

blogged at 1:45 PM

Thursday, December 21, 2006

"Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know."

godpa offered to fetched me to his place tonight.
but i rejected.
i didn't wna sit the ducktour neither did i wna go to the suntec garden thing.
i wanted to go parkway and visit my colleagues!
missed very badly.
so i gave godma a call and told her i'll head over her place myself tml.
which means, after their ducktour and everthing.

still a lil emo here and there.
but i gave gf a promised that i'll be fine.
she asked about my plans.
so i told her, im shaking the feelins off me and start afresh.
the mist cleared and here i am, still standin at where i used to be.

getting over and done with.
thats just it. (:

i miss these people so much!
yeowting, fusheng, jeramy sng, terry, xavier, wenchong, GF, esther, partner!
not to mention, those boys in my class!
i miss our class chalet now!

i didn't dare to move forward.
cause i know its yet another illusion.
i only have myself to blame.

blogged at 11:15 PM

chilll.
yeahs, i very much need to do that.
and i very much wish i could numb myself somehow?
no, not by alcohol. - I FREAKING DONT DRINK.
neither by clubbin - I FREAKIN HATE CROWDS.
so i do it by blasting out my music.

starting reading the books i borrowed ystd.
and 1 of them was Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom.
i got hooked onto it immediately.
lets have some sentence from there.

"No life is wasted. The only time we waste life is the time we spend thinking we are all alone."

so somehow i USED to waste my time.
how funny.
just now, when it started rainin.
i prayed that it'll get heavier.
and so then, i can walk in it.
but it never get any bigger.
beacause the rain stopped.

those were the days i spent being silly waiting.
waiting for something i know would never come true.
everyone thought it would.
but eventually it never.
we became best of friends.
now i wouldn't want to wait anymore.
and i knew this is yet another dream.
where it'll be reality when i've woken up.
i tried to smile to pull it off.
but somehow, it looks fake.
my mom even sense my agony.

blogged at 6:06 PM

somethin's stirring in me.
and it painfully feels horrible.
if u wna have a specific name for it.
i think it could be named as heartache.

im trying very hard to feel fine and be fine.
but strange enough.
i couldn't do it this time.
blasting those songs on my MP3 didn't help either.
something's wrong with me.
very wrong.

yes, i was alrights after the talk with bro.
but things started filling in again.

where's that friend i'll always find?
has he like disappear or something?
i don't know.
i felt i have drifted from yt.
somehow.
and we've nothing to talk now either.

i wish i had magic.
so i could be at the beach now.
just sit and stare at the pitch black sea.
i just wish i could be at the beach now.
):

stop this thinkin.
this isn't meant to be.
and it can't be.
I'LL BE FINE.

blogged at 12:08 AM

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

as always, im LATE in meeting chuanlian.
went vivocity.
MY VIRGIN TRIP THERE.
but well, there's nothing to walk.
yes, there seems to be a lot of shops.
BUT its boring there.

there's no PIZZA HUT at vivo lahs.
had to walk to habourfront centre and settle for HANS.):

STEVEN!
vivo rights, like very big lahs.
but very little things to buy ehs.
but there got shops u like lahs.
like TOPMAN, NIKE, ADIDAS and all.
see, i keep my promise afterall.
help u SEE vivo le.
take photos for u to see somemore.
HAHS.

suddenly, everything feels so blue.
these few days, the rain makes everything feels so down.
and esther's leaving on fri for thailand.):

the heart skipped a beat.
and everything became clear.